I don’t know how to do this anymore. Don’t know how to be me. Hell, who I am.
What this site should be.
Everything? Random? Some me? As much of myself as I can let out?
How do I do this from here? This spot. This moment in time as much as this moment in my life.
How am I safer? Is there even a safer to strive for? Will it make any difference? How can it be safe to exist as I know again?
I can’t stop.
I can’t stop who I am, but I’ve been frozen. Paralyzed by the weight of it all. Processing, continuous processing but from the same frozen place. Everything in me wants, needs to move forward but how. How? What’s the best way if there isn’t a right way?
No one can answer this for me, but I cannot stand to stay still.
In the end, 2017 is a swan dive. “I’m gonna do my best swan dive into shark infested waters. Gonna take out my tampon and start splashing around.”