2017 is a Swan Dive

I don’t know how to do this anymore. Don’t know how to be me. Hell, who I am.

What this site should be.

Everything? Random? Some me? As much of myself as I can let out?

How do I do this from here? This spot. This moment in time as much as this moment in my life.

How am I safer? Is there even a safer to strive for? Will it make any difference? How can it be safe to exist as I know again?

I can’t stop.

I can’t stop who I am, but I’ve been frozen. Paralyzed by the weight of it all. Processing, continuous processing but from the same frozen place. Everything in me wants, needs to┬ámove forward but how. How? What’s the best way if there isn’t a right way?

No one can answer this for me, but I cannot stand to stay still.

In the end, 2017 is a swan dive. “I’m gonna do my best swan dive into shark infested waters. Gonna take out my tampon and start splashing around.”

Gonna get my feet wet
until I drown