For most of my adult life I have lacked that magical thing known as health insurance. Once I came of age and was unable to utilize my Mother’s insurance, I lived in that terrifying place of facing financial ruin if I became ill or wanted to try and manage my conditions with medications. I came out of the womb depressed, then intense traumas at a young age added PTSD to the mix. Have intense migraine headaches. On top of all that I also have fibromyalgia. Managing that entanglement of physical and mental illnesses on my own has been a tough road, but I’m still here.
To try and care for myself on my own, I lost 150+ lbs over the course of many years, and have kept that weight off for 5 years. Less weight on my body greatly improved my baseline pain levels. Blissfully I’ve had friends who are physical therapists who helped me out, and other friends who are mental health professionals who allowed me to work through my intense bouts of depression or anxiety without much in the way of payment. My community has come together to keep me going and I am forever grateful for that.
After months upon months of the application process, I finally was approved for very basic medicare through the medicaid expansion in Virginia. Not full blown coverage, but enough that I could finally get a well woman (I hate that term) visit through Planned Parenthood and a visit with an amazing GP who works out of my local PP office. After extensively filling them in with my various conditions and then trying to dance around my medicaid limitations, we made a plan of action to start getting me to operating at something above barely functional.
After having multiple pregnancies around age 30, my period had become unbearable. That isn’t whining. I’ve had an unmediated childbirth in my livingroom, I know what labor feels like. Each and every month, I was having cramps on par with transitional labor and becoming anemic from blood loss. Every month I spent a week curled in agonizing pain, unable to do much of anything. So, our first step was to install the Mirena IUD with the goal of eventually ending my period all together. Fuck. Yes.
My GP had a laundry list of medications she wanted to put me on to combat the fibro, migraines, anxiety/PTSD, but my coverage does nothing to help with those costs. (We’re talking almost 2k a month out-of-pocket.) Until Val and I are legally married and I have his sweet, sweet health insurance, I’m on an inexpensive anti-depressant. I started that medication as the IUD was installed and prepared myself for the emotional roller coaster that is hormones and medications. Without going into too much detail, I went pretty fucking sideways for a few weeks.
Blissfully, things have evened out now and I feel AMAZING. My moods are much more even. I feel much more capable. Not overwhelmed every moment of every day. It’s wonderful, I’m so happy. So looking forward to insurance and seeing how much more I can improve with the other medications to help with fibro pain.
However – My orgasms have gone haywire.
Over my lifetime I have learned that if an anti-depressant says “sexual side effects may occur”, that means I will go hyper sexual. Constant arousal. Preferable to me than loss of sexual desire, but still annoying. As expected, the anti-depressant has done this. Most of the time I am eyeballing the couch debating rubbing against it. (This hasn’t actually happened. Yet.) I’m the Queen of Masturbation though, so I figured that spending all my free time with my We-Vibe Tango would reduce that issue. Sound plan, right?
When I orgasm now, I am instantly hit with intense cramping from the IUD. When I am intimate with my partners, this doesn’t enter my mind because I’m having a glorious time being fully in the moment with them and I orgasm with my usual frequency and intensity. Pain afterwards, but well worth it. When it comes to masturbation though, I think I am psyching myself out. Clitoral stimulation feels great (a majority of my masturbation is just external clitoral stimulation) getting right to the edge is no problem. I just cannot get over the top and into my usual stars exploding, universe creating, touching the divine orgasmic bliss.
I feel mortal.
The obvious solution to keep me from humping walls while my body adjusts to the IUD is to have a ton of partnered sex. Here we hit another problem. We are both people with chronic pain. Times when we are both physically capable of intercourse and the kids aren’t banging on the door for more juice are few and far between.
I am a problem solver though, so I’ve reached out to some of my beloveds to test out some of the sexual accessories geared towards facilitating sex for people with pain or mobility issues. While I do not do many product reviews overall, I’m going to dip into that world on my quest to improve our cripple* sex life.
Do you have a suggestion on a product we should try? Want to join my quest by sending an item for an honest review? If so, please let me know via my Contact Page and I will get back to you ASAP.
*We are both physically disabled people who feel comfortable using the term cripple in regards to each other. I do not wish to upset anyone by using the term. <3