For the record, normally Shiva does not mind the water and will get in the shower with me. This is why she just got plunked in, I did not expect that standing water would suck her soul from her paws. Still, part of me, the cruel Mommy side, wants to do it again as I am still laughing about this.

p.s. My Bathroom is a fucking mess. I did not expect it to be filmed.

This is me shooting laser beams of hate at the sun for causing my skin to sizzle within ten seconds of walking outside. Also, I was trying to prove that I was not the only store open today in my complex, our next door neighbors were just as crazy as we were.

This is Jenn, she’s one of my girls at the shop. Really bright, friendly, and picking up on the toys like she was also born to peddle smut. Jenn shares my utter love/obsession with the Fleshlights, and needed a picture of her showing her love for her favorite to match mine.

It’s the 4th of July, and surprisingly people were not beating down my doors early in the day for Dildii and lubes. So I amused myself by making kissy faces at the Fleshlights and random vanity. Hey, it passed the time.

this is my best friend heather

Heather bought me this domain as a 26th birthday present, for tomorrow I am closer to 30 than I am 20. [Okay, so perhaps I've been inching closer ever since the moment I turned 25, but I never claimed to be rational. *You should get used to this idea fast.*] Heather and I met 6 years ago through a string of lucky and very unlucky events. We’ve loved each other while hating each other, and grown together from two little girls to oddball women. She is my sanity and my insanity, and trust me when I say you all should be very glad that we met, for I would not be anywhere near as awesome without her.

Basically, Heatherbat is the awesomest heather who ever awesomed and I decided that this first post should honor that.

Real shit to come.