#OrgasmQuest Turns One

#OrgasmQuest turns one & I’m not what to say.

Baby Crista!!

Selfie from right after I posted the first #OrgasmQuest post

A year ago right now I was wiggling in bed celebrating that I’d made due on a promised blog post…

I’d come up with an idea, found sponsors, and followed through with “Crista and her #OrgasmQuest“. Wriggling happily because I’d been disconnected from my community for a while but this was the start of “dipping my toes” back in. Finally I had a “little project” to contribute with again.

Ha. Ha. Ha!

A year later it’s all a blur of my jaw hanging on the floor. Waking up every morning for weeks going “Okay, where I am covered today?” or “What did I do now?”

As time passed hands began to cover my eyes during that first peek at twitter.

It was a wild, wonderful, scary, intense, and above all else – surreal – experience.

A year later I’m surprised and thankful that so many people have stuck with me through the ups and mostly downs.

#Orgasmquest shirt on for the first time!

The first time I put on my @SheVibe #OrgasmQuest superhero shirt

Honestly, at the moment this sex writer is not all that sexy. Newlywed or not. Masturbation moments are few and far between, pain levels are so in the way that intimacy is mostly cuddling and words of affirmation. (As that’s my main love language, this works wonderfully.) Shortly my medications are going to change as I get back to this glorious world of comprehensive health coverage. Mostly I’m biding my time until that happens, see what challenges or lack of challenges there will be once it begins. As #OrgasmQuest turns one, I may be right back to where I was at the start. Thankfully, if I am, it is with the glorious wisdom about my body that gained.

My energy has been focused on enjoying feeling joyful again, reconnecting with the world, and creating positive routines that I can stick with as I keep climbing out of that depressive hole. Nothing that warrants world-wide media coverage, which is a nice change.

There will be reposting of my favorite #OrgasmQuest articles over the next few days on twitter. My life is about to be packed with all the joys and stresses that come with the holidays in a very blended family. (Juggling the schedules of four households is…let’s go with interesting.)

I’m really looking forward to where #OrgasmQuest will take me in year two.

@GoodVibesToys Is Helping Spread Sex-Positivity To Festival

I love @GoodVibesToys So Very Much. This year they are sponsoring my endless quest to spread Sex Positivity while on our Vacation.

Every year Val and I take a two-week vacation to Brushwood Folklore Center in NY for their two festivals. Brushwood is our home away from home, time where we completely unplug from the outside world and spend quality time with some of our dearest loves who are flung across the country. Last year we started volunteering, both working the gate. With my rainbow wardrobe, I have been christened within the community “Rainbow Brite of the Gate”.

Of course, I’m also known for my train case of sex toys & constant desire to have conversations around Sex Positivity. This community is a beautiful collection of hippies, pagans and free thinkers. These folks are, overall, not very tech savvy or on the web much – so these are people who are already on a sex positive path, but haven’t encountered the larger sex positive community.

This year Good Vibrations has been wonderful enough to send me a large box full of Sliquid Organics and Please Cream in Water & Silicone samples, Glyde condoms in Ultra & Wild Berry &….

  The coveted Rechargeable Magic Wand!

At Catalyst Con East I attended a panel by Carol Queen on What Sex Positivity Is and Isn’t. At the end she implored us to spread the truly positive, inclusive brand of Sex Positivity as much as we could. So I am taking this wonderful opportunity to do so while on our glorious vacation. For when Carol Queen makes a request, you know I’ll find a way to fulfill it.

To my beloved Brushwoodians who may be reading this, Rainbow Brite of the Gate will have all these glorious goodies at Elysium. Please feel free to drop by our camp to chat & check out the glory.

I am a Mighty Happy Crista.

Rainbow Brite of the Gate

Rainbow Brite of the Gate

Orgasmic Partnered Sex! & How This Relates to #OrgasmQuest

Last night I opened up my Ask Box on Tumblr before I put kiddo to bed, planning to answer the questions as my Friday night entertainment. This would have been an entertaining way to spend an evening for me, however my plans changed after the getting child to bed took four times longer than it should have. Instead, I crawled into bed with XVO, we left our computers closed to have some very needed us time.

Part of that very needed us time was incredibly awesome sex, where I had….

The Return of My Universe Creating Orgasms!

Yep, that's an orgasmic smile

Yep, that’s an orgasmic smile

I’m glowing today. One of those glows where you could look at me and go “yeah, she had amazing sex last night.” Which is incredibly accurate. Grand times were had by all, but mostly by me. Afterwards I rocked an intense pleasure high for a good hour, rolling around occasionally cackling about how my Sex Goddess Orgasms were not completely gone. There may have been joyful tears. What can I say, I really fucking missed those.

So! What does this mean? Well, best case option is that the anorgasmia as a side effect of my antidepressant (again, I am on a tricyclic antidepressant called amitriptyline) is fading away, as can happen after the first few months of being on a medication. That’s ideal for me, as it means in a few more weeks/months I could be back to having my masturbatory lifehack back & enjoy being alive!

It could mean that given the right level of intimacy, foreplay, and partnered connection, my empathetic pleasure connection with XVO overrides the anorgasmia. That might be too much “woo” for some people, but I’ve always gotten off on getting other people off, so for me – that’s a thing. We’ve had partnered sex where I’ve had orgasms, but they were light waves of pleasure. No, last night, that was back to creating universes with the power of my orgasm as well as being so multi-orgasmic that I stopped being able to tell when one ended and the next began. Which had been more or less my standard sexual experience.

After my masturbatory Orgasm the other night, I had not been able to recreate the results with the Magic Wand alone, or with the magic wand/Tsunami combo. Today I haven’t had the privacy to see if I can achieve universe creating orgasms on my own, but that will happen. Obviously, I’ll let you know.

Another factor that cannot be ignored is that I am menstruating, so my hormones may have come into play with my ability to orgasm intensely. There is a great deal of we’ll see and perhaps going on with this post. Obviously I need to have a great deal more solo and partnered sex – for science.

For the moment? I’m going to bask in the fact that I came like I’m used to for the first time in months. Tap dancing dildo gods, I needed that. Orgasmic Partnered Sex for the win, for me. Huzzah!

#OrgasmQuest Update: It was a Team Effort, but We Have Orgasm!

#OrgasmQuest has been far too much about the media response to Quest and far to little on the actual Quest itself recently, so let’s fix that shall we?

The chance to work on #OrgasmQuest came earlier than usual tonight, but I saw my moment and I embraced it.

That was totally (kinda sorta) an Orgasm!!!

My old orgasmic state spoiled me, oh how it spoiled me, but that folks? That was an orgasm. Vagina contractions, wobble legs and my brain finally registered the pleasure spike along with it. I AM MIGHTY!!!!


Crista Anne is Mighty

I am Mighty!!

That’s forever my I AM MIGHTY picture. Anyway! ORGASM HOLY SHIT I MISSED YOU!!!

As mentioned in the title, it was a team effort. Let’s give three cheers to GoodVibes’ Please Cream Lubricant, The Original Magic Wand and what I believe was the star of the show, Tantus’ Tsunami!!!


This is my I Am Mighty I Orgasmed Face!!

Glorious hollow area for a bullet or a finger, which saves my hands from extreme pain

Glorious hollow area for a bullet or a finger, which saves my hands from extreme pain

I do give the Tsunami credit for getting me over the edge. After a liberal application of Please Cream, the size, shape and curve instantly ramped up my baseline pleasure level. I opted to remove the bullet from the base of the tsunami so I could use a finger in the hollow area of the base to keep gentle but constant pressure that was easy on my hands. The vibration from the Magic Wand is gloriously (for me) intense, so when I slid the head of the wand down my vulva to meet the base of the Tsunami, the vibrations transferred through wonderfully. I’m not a huge fan of intense internal vibration, the amount transferred was perfect for me.

This was not a quick and easy Orgasm. Before meds I could orgasm in under five minutes, this was closer to twenty. I did get close a few times over that period, but determination combined with extra rocking motion with the Tsunami did finally get me over the edge. Universes were not created, I did not see stars, the length of the orgasm itself was about a fourth of the earlier version, but I am not complaining! I FUCKING CAME!!!

No, obviously this is not the end of #OrgasmQuest. Need to recreate the results (because science!) Try to see if I am adjusting to the Amitriptyline and the anorgasmic side effect is wearing off naturally, if I can orgasm with a different collection of sex toys, no toys at all, and if I can get those universe creating orgasms back. Massive awesome fantastic stress relieving step forward though. Oh my stars, I needed that.

Of course, because I am me, there were a collection of celebratory selfies taken. Please forgive the darkness, but I snapped them from my rainbow covered quest area within my office.

Tap dancing dildo gods, thank you to my beloved Good Vibes and Tantus, for without them, I’d still be a frustrated little rainbow of a Crista. Now, let’s see what tomorrow holds.


(Remember: Tantus will take 15% off your entire order when you use the code “#OrgasmQuest” at checkout) 

Crista Anne on #OrgasmQuest–the Carol Queen Interview!

My longtime readers are well aware of this, but for all you wonderful new people, Carol Queen is my idol. Since I discovered her work over a decade ago, my ultimate dream has been to do and put out work that earned her respect. I do mean ultimate dream, it’s what I would have wished for first if I found a magic lamp.

That dream has come true: Carol Queen calls me a “rainbow-colored pleasure revolutionary!”

Everyone who does any sort of sex education or sex therapy has probably heard from people who have issues with orgasm and/or arousal once they go on antidepressants. It’s a terrible conundrum: Sexual dysfunction can itself be an effect of––even diagnostic for––depression, but the treatment for that depression alters brain chemistry and often results in sexual problems too. Blogger Crista Anne is fighting back! With her project #OrgasmQuest she’s shedding light both on depression and sexual response, and her wise words are being heard in perhaps-suprising places: She was interviewed last week by Dr. Drew, got some love from Cosmo, and of course the usual sex-positive and feminist and lady-culture suspects have talked to her too. Now it’s my turn!

Read the Rest at Good Vibes blog

I have so much more to say on this entire experience, but my Mommy Duty calls! While I’m being super Mama, check out my wonderful #OrgasmQuest sponsor, Good Vibes. They are dear to my heart and have had a vital role in my development from Wee Outlaw Dildo Peddler to Rainbow Hued Badass.

Rainbow Holidays!

To soften the blow of losing, I bring you two awesome articles…

Yes, I cried about football. I has feels.

Yes, I cried about football. I has feels.

Oh football, how you break my heart. As you’ve possibly seen on twitter, I’m having strong football feels. When the Packers season ends I usually don’t know what to do with myself for a while. As I’ve said before, I have sportsball feels. I absolutely loathe the NFL, but I love my Packers. Over the NFL season I live on Deadspin, most of what I listen to as I go about my day is sports podcasts. Once the Packers aren’t playing? I don’t care anymore. Normally there is an odd void for a while until I find something else to occupy my time.

This year is different! I can combat that crushing defeat with focusing more of my time on my work. #OrgasmQuest has gone viral, which I am beyond thrilled about. Yes, of course, I am all about Shameless Self Promotion. It isn’t just “YAY I’m popular!” – The columns and articles about #OrgasmQuest have been positive. The comment sections have been wonderful. You could knock me over with a feather there. I’m so very used to being shredded to bits in comment sections, which is why for a while this site didn’t offer them, but they are full of people sharing their experiences. Sharing their struggles. Some their victories. (Oh, and there was thread derail on the Jezebel article when we started to talk about eyeshadow. Thrilling!)

Over the weekend I’ve received messages from people around the globe sharing their stories of how mental illness has affected their sexuality. Tried to respond to every one of them because I am deeply honored that they are willing to open up to me. Much like my days in sex toy retail, I take the trust that my customers, clients and readers place in me very seriously. No one has been comfortable with being quoted, but people are starting to share via the #OrgasmQuest hashtag. As I said on twitter, I don’t “own” that hashtag, I invite others to use it as well. The stigma that surrounds these issues needs to be busted. Sharing is a way of healing for many.

Now, I have two more wonderful articles to share with you:

Brave Mom Crista Anne Goes on OrgasmQuest to Fight Depression One Orgasm at a TimeBustle

OrgasmQuest isn’t about showing off, but rather, about helping to lift various stigmas, including those surrounding mental illness, which we all know are harmful and can prevent people from seeking the help they need. But what struck me about this project is how it clearly challenges the whole “women don’t masturbate myth.” Female masturbation is such a taboo to begin with that this mom’s commitment to exploring her body, and her ability to be so candid and public about it by writing about it on the internet is nothing short of courageous. While some nay-sayers might chastise her for daring to be a mom and post about sex at the same time (the horror!), I think I would have been proud to have a mom who was so open about sex and unafraid to talk about her struggles with mental illness.

Read the rest @ Bustle

Blogger Shares Her Struggle To Orgasm On AntidepressantsRefinery29

“I’ve been working in the sexuality field for 14 years, many of those were spent working in sex toy boutiques. Daily I was speaking to women who were struggling with loss of libido or anorgasmia from their medications,” she revealed. “Empathy went a long way in making them feel more comfortable… Everyday women would tell me how they had no idea this would happen, how they felt broken. Validating their feelings, giving them a safe space to share seemed to help them a great deal.”

Read the rest @ Refinery29

(PS Thank you Laura Hibbs McKenzie for using that photo of me, it’s one of my favorites.)

I would be remiss if I did not also thank my loves at SheVibe and Good Vibes for sponsoring #OrgasmQuest in the first place. Their support helped get this project off the ground and they have all my gratitude. Also, so much love to my dear friend Rachel Kramer Bussel for being the first to write about what I’m doing here. Her column on Philadelphia City Paper started it all. Thank you darling.

Greetings Jezebel Folks



My webcam isn't the best, but I wave hello to you all

My webcam isn’t the best, but I wave hello to you all

Hi there!

Was eating a burrito, idly scrolling twitter when I saw that #OrgasmQuest was on the front page of Jezebel. Have spent most of the last hour staring in mild shock at the incredibly wonderful comments attached to the article. Thank you. Really.

Thank you.

The conversations going on over at that thread are beautiful. Seeing people sharing their stories and experiences is incredibly fulfilling, beyond the gains to my personal life, I deeply believe in lifting stigma around mental health, using medications to combat depression, and of course promoting masturbation. This is such a common issue, I’m proud to speak openly about it.

I am replying to comments on the article as I can, but please feel free to also comment here. I’m easily reached across social media and welcome these conversations. If you have a story that you’d like to share as part of #OrgasmQuest, I’d be honored to share it here. There is my Contact Me form here, or you can reach me on gmail (crista at).

Thank you for reading. Thank you for sharing. Thank you.

I would be remiss if I did not also thank my loves at SheVibe and Good Vibes for sponsoring #OrgasmQuest in the first place. Their support helped get this project off the ground and they have all my gratitude.

#OrgasmQuest Hits the @citypaper!

My dear friend Rachel Kramer Bussel interviewed me about #OrgasmQuest for the Philadelphia City Paper. I could not be more thrilled with how her column turned out or how wonderful the reception has been in the short time since posting. Happily overwhelmed is the best way to put it, as my inbox and mentions are now overflowing with love and support.

Cannot begin to express my gratitude, honestly this blurb made me tear up before I had even made it out of bed. Please read the full column, and if you’re so inclined – share widely. Beyond my adoration of Shameless Self Promotion, Rachel’s skills are unmatched. The more clicks the column receives – the more sex-positive, mental health stigma busting writing gets out into the collective consciousness.

Now! Behold what made me cry happy tears..

With the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimating that one in 10 American adults report having depression, the effect of medication on our sex lives isn’t an isolated concern. Moreover, the way Crista values masturbation is a model more of us could stand to follow. By privileging her solo sex life, she’s showing up powerfully in the rest of her life. For her, it’s about regaining her lost orgasm to be the best person she can be…

Read the full article

#OrgasmQuest: 3 Week Update Featuring The Original Magic Wand

Betty Fucking Dodson

Betty Fucking Dodson

Everyone* should own an Original Magic Wand Vibrator.

*Everyone who is interested in using a wand vibrator that is. I firmly believe this is a sexual tool box Must Have, something I’ve said for over a decade. The power the magic wand provides is unmatched, stimulating not only the tip of the clitoris, but all those glorious nerve endings through the vulva. Don’t own a vulva? I’ve yet to meet a penis owner who has tried a magic wand and disliked the sensations it provides. (EDIT: After posting one reached out to me! I can admit when I’m wrong.) Plus, these darlings are made to last – decades in many cases. If you are a person who is interested in strong vibrating stimulation, you should own one. Period. (Quick magic wand hack: if you find you go numb from intense vibes, try using a blanket/soft pants between the vibe and your body.)

 Pause reading now, & go buy one at Good Vibes. This post will be here when you get back.

Back now? Your Magic Wand is on it’s way?


You won’t be disappointed.

As stated in my Life on the Swingset Review, I don’t review products overall. Tons of folks have that down well, you can find many of the best on my sidebar. What I am doing here is sharing how this product is functioning within my #OrgasmQuest, this is the first update in an ongoing series. Let me tell you now, the Magic Wand will be spotlighted often.

Three weeks into my quest, two weeks into using the Original Magic Wand daily, I have mixed results to share. Let’s go back to what I said in the original #OrgasmQuest post:

My fibro med changes the way my brain interprets nerve sensation, so I’m going full power. I love my tango, but what my body needs is full clitoral stimulation covering my vulva, exactly what a wand style vibe achieves. This might not be an instant success, but long-term stimulation should do the trick.

Using the magic wand feels…well, magical. The full vulva stimulation is glorious, I’m instantly both relaxed and aroused. The high setting is on the buzzy side, the lower setting has a good rumble. Good Vibes was generous enough to send me a Pop Your Top Kit, the black ridged Pop Top is by far my favorite. (Tip for getting the Pop Tops on. Flip them inside out, match to the head of the wand, roll down and instant perfect fit!) I’m a ridged texture kind of person, so lubed up with Good Vibes Please Cream, the sensations are glorious. My masturbatory position is on my back while propped up with pillows so I can ride the bulbous end to my heart’s content. Let me emphasis this again: feels fucking amazing. I feel like a Sex Goddess while using it.

Still, I’m not orgasming yet. The sensations, the pleasure is incredible, I’m right there on the edge…I stay there on the edge..but the universe creating orgasm does not come. Not the Magic Wand’s fault though, I feel that the medication is still messing with how clitoral nerve stimulation is processed within my brain. The last two times I have used the Magic Wand I’ve felt the vaginal contractions that go along with my orgasm, my brain just isn’t cooperating that I should be having an out-of-body orgasmic experience along with those contractions.

The vaginal contractions are a huge and exciting step forward! The Original Magic Wand and I are headed in the right direction! We just need more time, which doesn’t completely surprise me as I suspected that long-term regular stimulation was going to be required. Mixed results, but with the recent addition of the vaginal contractions, I’m positive I’m on the right path.

My Next Step:

I also have a black Pop Tops Deluxe Silicone G-Spotter, which I have *not* tried yet. Want to spend another week with the full vulva stimulation before I move on to adding internal. Taking it slow here, but internal toys have rarely worked for me. Give myself another week to adjust to both medication and regular stimulation, then I’ll try mixing it up. My mind is open, maybe the G-Spotter will do the trick.

I’ll let you know.

 Disclaimer/Disclosure: Good Vibes sent me these glorious items in exchange for an honest review, which is exactly what this is. Should you make the wise decision to buy any or all of these products via my links, I will get a small commission from those sales. That amount of money is not enough to sway the views I’ve expressed here.


Crazed #cheesehead #selfie & What’s coming this week on CristaAnne

Ducky Doolittle gave me this lucky green and yellow dildo

Ducky Doolittle gave me this lucky green and yellow dildo

Finally, after my week from hell, I was able to sleep. Glorious, restorative sleep. Down to one child for a bit, the stress of juggling endless needs has been lifted. A brief lift, but I’ll take it. Any moment of downtime is cherished.

Then I watched a gloriously intense football game where I was able to scream at the TV as my Packers won. Beating the Cowboys in the playoffs actually lifted some of my childhood sadness, which is an odd post for another time. My cocky self took to twitter for postgame to yell at ESPN analysts. I Am Mighty! The thrill of being a woman who can school dudebros on the NFL is something that gives me life.

Now I am fending off a hormonal migraine. The usual solution to such is masturbatory orgasm, but as you will soon read in my extensive #OrgasmQuest Posts that will go out this week, masturbatory orgasm still eludes me. Going to try with the hitachi anyway, at the very least I’ll have a bit of pleasure again.

This coming week is all the Awards and Expos in LA, which I am sadly not attending this year. The money wasn’t there for such extravagance. While my friends and loves are having a grand time, while we have a low parenting mode, I am focusing my attention here. Cleaning up the site, fixing design elements I’m not thrilled with, and writing. Oh, the writing. Debating putting some of my inner thoughts out there that will ruffle feathers. We’ll see how I’m feeling. What you will see in the coming week is this:

  • Multiple #OrgasmQuest updates. Review of where I am almost a month into my Quest. First reviews of the Hitachi from Good Vibes and the Liberator Ramp from SheVibe. A list of items I’d appreciate adding to my arsenal. Importantly – a stand alone clarification of what #OrgasmQuest means to me and why this is much more than chasing orgasms or engaging in goal oriented sex.
  • Updates to #Selfies with a shout out to what Lauren Marie Fleming is doing with #BawdyLove.
  • A requested post from readers about my hair. How I manage vivid color and my process. You asked for it, I’m pleased to share.
  • Shameless self promotion as #OrgasmQuest hits Carnalcopia and the Philadelphia City Paper.
  • An expanded explanation and hopefully the start of a boarder conversation on why I now call myself a “Progressive Pleasurist“.

Finally, while I was away from “proper blogging”, I fell in love with tumblr. I enjoy microblogging a great deal, so there will be many random short posts on random things I stumble upon through out my day. It’s fun for me, but also easier to continue having content when nearly all my attention is focused on parenting.

So, that’s that my dears. I’m off to do various work across the spheres of my life. Hope that your weekend was wonderful, though if you’re a forlorn Cowboys fan…I’ll be honest. Your pain delights me.


Crista and Her #OrgasmQuest

“I came out of the womb depressed”

I have major depression. Came out of the womb depressed, will be depressed for the rest of my days. I’ve learned to accept it, live with it, and more recently – openly blog about my adventures in better living through pharmaceuticals. I’m tired of mental health stigma, tired of hiding my depression. It’s here, it’s a fact of my life. It’s not my fault.

Carnalcopia: A Swingset Podcast

Carnalcopia: A Swingset Podcast

Shortly after that blog post, I filled in last-minute for Katie Mack on a Carnalcopia podcast on Depression, Orgasms, and Navigating the Murky Terrain of Mental Health. It’s 50 minutes of Ashley and I discussing with humor and honesty, our struggles with depression. How mental illness combined with medications to combat our depression has at times caused havoc in our sex lives. She’s coming from the rocky experience of being on many medications, while I’m being rocked by how being medicated is affecting my ability to orgasm. I’m proud of the podcast – if you haven’t listened yet, do so now. It’s grand. (Even my Mom has listened to it and absolutely loved what we had to say. Thanks Mom!)

Quick n dirty recap: My high sex drive and orgasmic superpower have been the most dependable parts of my identity. Sex has been my go-to pick me up for combating depression, allowing myself to feel something other than the darkness. My relationship with sex is healthy, Val (my partner for those of you just tuning in) and I have a fucking fantastic sex life even though we both battle depression, chronic pain and being parents to a small army of wee monsters. I’ve always been highly orgasmic. My orgasms are powerful, universe creating/touching the divine while my entire body rocks with pleasure. Usually when a medication says “some sexual side effects” that always means that I become hyper sexual and even more orgasmic.

Until now.

After an IUD installation and starting medications for fibromyalgia and an antidepressant, my orgasm disappeared briefly. At the time of recording, with partnered sex I was missing my explosive orgasm. Only experiencing gentle waves. While those waves were nice, they were nothing close to the restorative experience I so depend on for a mental, emotional and physical recharge.

A few weeks later I can blissfully report that universe creating powerhouse orgasms have returned via partnered sex. Midway through foreplay I orgasmed with my usual intensity, froze, then yelled “That was a real orgasm! I WANT MORE!” before actually leaping on him. Oh, there were more. Thank the fucking tapdancing dildo gods.

That’s the good news.

Happy face! I like good news...

Happy face! I like good news…

The bad news is that orgasm via masturbation is still gone. Nada. Nil. Nothing.

I dislike bad news

I dislike bad news

Sure, masturbating feels great. I’m still pulling out my tango vibe any chance I get, but I’m not getting off. This is a huge problem. I *need* my masturbatory orgasms to keep my sanity through the chronic pain, stress of parenting, and just because I fucking love to get off. Masturbating is my zen. It’s my meditation. It’s almost my religion. (Well, masturbation and the Packers..but I digress..) Masturbation is part of my identity, a part that I am not about to give up on.

So, I am now on my #OrgasmQuest. I will regain my universe creating divine orgasms. This will happen. As I know I am not alone in this experience, I’m choosing to share my trial and error publicly.

Here’s my plan:

While partnered sex is back to glorious, without masturbation my sex drive is even higher than usual. To help keep from breaking Val, my glorious loves at SheVibe are sending us a Liberator ramp to test out. Years ago I had a liberator wedge that was lovely, but wasn’t the right size for optimal orgasmic bliss. The ramp hasn’t arrived yet, but trust me, the moment it does – twitter will know. Instead of a single review, I’ll be posting multiple updates on the impact on our sex life in the short and longer term.

For the masturbation side of #OrgasmQuest, our favorite Sex Toy Santa via Good Vibrations is sending a Magic Wand style vibrator. At first I thought that I was psyching myself out more than anything else, because I was still experiencing cramping from the IUD. That has ended, but my orgasm is still missing in action. My fibro med changes the way my brain interprets nerve sensation, so I’m going full power. I love my tango, but what my body needs is full clitoral stimulation covering my vulva, exactly what a wand style vibe achieves. This might not be an instant success, but long-term stimulation should do the trick. As with the ramp, I’ll have regular updates here and on twitter covering how things are going.

Pleasure is vital to my mental health. Orgasms are vital to my mental health. Masturbation gives me life. I love how much better I feel with medication, but I do not accept that I have to sacrifice my orgasm to experience less of the darkness of depression.

This is my #OrgasmQuest.



Check out the #OrgasmQuest Page for Updates, Clarifications & FAQ