Find me at Woodhull Summit – #SFS17

Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit

Before I start the actual #sfs17 post, some oversharing. Today I could sit down and re-write Breaking the Cycle nearly word for word. My anxiety is sky high; perfection paralyzes me, I could have written this twice with the effort I’ve put into avoiding writing/updating. On the if this hasn’t hit your radar yet – Ravishly has an excellent piece “You Aren’t Lazy — You’re Just Terrified: On Paralysis And Perfectionism” up right now. It speaks to my soul. The uptick in articles covering anxiety disorders seems tied to how badly Trump is fucking us over, in my not-humble-at-all opinion. Okay – to the real post, but felt compelled to admit and own that anxiety is running things more than I am still.

Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit – #SFS17

On an incredibly selfish note, #SFS17 is days away. I am semi counting on the summit refilling my cup and nourishing my soul has it has every other year. The summit (#sfs17) is four days with my nearest and dearest in the sexuality freedom fight, always four of the best days of my year. Because of reasons (and by reasons I mean money), I have not attended as many conferences, summits, and stand alone education workshops as I’d like. Still, I’m not a newbie and can say without hesitation that #sfs17 is the most worthwhile event I’ve attended.

(Yes, I’m staff. Yes, I am very biased.)

Before getting into what I’ll be up to at this year’s summit – Read this post “Guide: What to Expect at #SFS17 (and Other Conferences)” by Mary Q. – It’s jam packed with vital information on making the most out of #SFS17 and any other conference. Don’t worry; I’ll wait.

Welcome back!

Where to find me during #SFS17

Above all else, should you need me for whatever reason, @pinkness on twitter will get you the fastest response. This year I’ve scaled way back in official summit work so I can have a bit more fun, maybe even find time to attend more than one session that I’m not actively involved in! (Cause there are so many I want to attend. Locate the list of workshops and times here! Obviously, you don’t want to miss this one; Bodies Tell Our Stories. Aug 5th, 2:45 pm, Cavalier C.)

I am an openly, honestly queer woman online and I refused to be shamed or threatened into Silence.

Thursday I’ll mostly be running about working on Accessibility. I’m a committee of one for now, so meeting needs are going to be most of my Summit. You’ll find me at Digital Creators’ Meet ‘n’ GreetI’m friendly and love to meet new people – if we haven’t met in person yet don’t stress about saying hello. (…Says the introvert. I’ll do my best to seek out & say hi to as many folx as possible.) As well as all the evening festivities my aching body will allow. Reminder: I don’t drink so if you need a sober person for whatever reason, it’ll be pretty safe to seek me out.

There are too many workshops I want to attend I will not attempt to list them all. Friday through my workshop Bodies Tell Our Stories. (Aug 5th, 2:45 pm, Cavalier C.) Will be filled with my favorite kind of chaos, but looking into the Blogger Lounge is a safe first stop.

As I mentioned above, I’m an Accessibility Committee of one as Val has to miss this year. Over #sfs17 I’ll be pouring my everything into making our spaces as accessible as possible but if I’ve missed something? Please seek another volunteer/staff member or me out.

Unless I’m with someone with a NO PHOTOS lanyard and/or button, pictures of me are fine. I’m well out of the closets and me on the internet. If all else fails, look for the rainbow hair. This is my favorite event of the year, so I want to say hi to you, I want to exchange cards, I want to brainstorm. Ask first, but I’m overall a hug loving person.

Think that covers most everything, as I do a swan dive into “wtf do I pack?!?”, I have to swan dive into redoing my rainbow hair as summer pool time has done a number on it.

Softness as Strength

My body aches. Stress has been ripping us to shreds. Last night I kept my computer closed and cried for hours. Ugly sobbing, my nose is raw from having been blown so many times. The dichotomy between how traumatic my personal bubble has been and how positive my professional life is has become hard to process. I’m a Superhero, my idol calls me a pleasure revolutionary. Projects, opportunities are flying my way but there is such a hole that it’s impossible to enjoy them fully.

I feel guilt and shame at being angry about that, it feels so self-absorbed considering the gravity of our situation. If I lose half my kids it really doesn’t matter to me that my heroes are saying nice things about me. I feel guilty that I’m angry. Socialized as a woman all my life, it’s easier for me to experience guilt than it is for me to feel anger. I’m angry and guilty about that too.

What I need is softness, gentleness. So, I’ve been painting with my littlest while people on twitter call me a self-absorbed airhead. That doesn’t hurt my feelings anymore, but I’m out of shouting. It’s time to find strength in my softness again. Sit quietly. Find softness as strength.

“I need a light of some kind”

Life Goal Completed – I Am a SheVibe Superhero

#OrgasmQuest has gone so far beyond my wildest dreams. Interviewed by Carol Queen. Front page of a number of my favorite sites and blogs. New wonderful friends. Now. Now I’m a Motherfucking SheVibe Superhero and I can cross another item off my list of Life Goals. BEHOLD! Continue reading

Microblogging: My Unicorn Hoodie

For everyone who has asked about my unicorn hoodie, here it is!

You can get one here: Leg Avenue Women’s Cozy Unicorn*

I’m a size 6-8 and ordered a medium. My Unicorn hoodie a teeny bit snug, but 90% of the time I wear it as a long hoodie so the snug isn’t a problem.


*Yes, that is an affiliate link. I don’t take advertising on this site, so that’s how I make teeny, tiny amounts of money.

 

Welcome to the Rainbow Dildo Glitter Cave!

My usual office is our three season porch. It’s a huge room off the main house with sliding glass doors for walls on three sides. It’s bright, beautiful and has an exquisite view of the forest behind out house. (Added bonus, I can keep an eye on the kids back there and get work done!) My ugly as sin lime green couch is out there, my clothing, it’s my incredibly well-lit dungeon – I love it.

Three season is the key. From Jan – March though, it’s just too cold out there for me to spend any time. Yes, I am a native Wisconsinite, but fibro killed my ability to handle any sort of chill. My fingers stop moving, so obviously I cannot work out there over that time.

So last week we re-purposed the “art” room. Moved the kiddo art supplies into the living room, which needed to happen anyway – this room was turning into a dumping ground for the toys they didn’t want to clean up instead of a creative space. Now it is MINE. I’m right across from their playroom so again – I can work and keep an eye on them.

Highlights include hanging spaces for my rainbow wardrobe *and* my own jerkoff pad that is covered in vintage 80’s Rainbow Brite sheets and sleeping bag. *cackles with glee*

So now you can know exactly where I am when you’re interacting with me.

NSFW: Birthday Suit Selfie for Val’s Birthday

Time has lost meaning to me.

Sometime this morning I was feeling adorable through the fog of illness. It’s Val‘s birthday, we celebrate adult birthdays with “birthday suit” selfies. Most of our friends/loves take part, it’s a wonderful celebration of selves and vulnerability. (Or really effing hot nudes. Often both.) He’s bedridden with the illness, so this is our only celebration today.

Below the read more is my contribution to the fun… Continue reading

She’ll rub her rainbows all over you…

Playing with my new Urban Decay palette. Main color is Gonzo with glide on shadow pencil in Noise.

Playing with my new Urban Decay palette. Main color is Gonzo with glide on shadow pencil in Noise.

Happy *early* birthday to meeee

I have a makeup addiction. When I was a wee sex worker, I’d drop hundreds at the MAC counter just because I could. The more obnoxious the color the better. Not remotely the best use of my money, but it was consolation after realizing that my hands would forever shake too intensely to become a professional makeup artist. I’ve never been one to drink or do drugs, I drown my sorrow in pigments.

Then came Motherhood, divorce and the realization that kids are fucking expensive. (Shocking, right? They seem to think I should provide food, clothing and entertainment for them. Little monsters need to get themselves jobs.) So I actually did the responsible thing and stopped spending money I didn’t really have on my obnoxious eye color habit. Actually went a good four years without getting myself anything new, until this amazeballs palette crossed my radar.

LOOK AT THOSE COLORS!!! Seriously, there was no possible way I could resist.

AMAZEBALLS

AMAZEBALLS

This is my treat for myself for surviving the last few years, my 32nd birthday present (two months early) and a bit of self care. Fuck yeah, now I can go back to perfecting my rainbow eyes. JoEllen? Darling, you need to visit.

No content yet, but just you wait.

Pixels are falling all over the place, this new blog is not ready for prime time yet. Links may not work, a number of design details are going to change. My stats tell me that you’re already peeking in, so welcome. Don’t judge just yet.

There will be much goodness to come. Till then, I give you one of my favorite selfies.

Who wants a mustache ride??

<3
mustacherides