It’s almost here. Just over two weeks and we have the custody trial. Whatever the outcome will be, this horrific chapter of life closes. What the next chapter entails? I am not foolish enough to guess. It’s out of my hands, all I can do is what I have done. What we have done. Trying our best. Giving our everything to keeping our world together and stable.
I’ve been quiet here. With the absurdity around me, there has not been time or the mental space to write. My time, precious spoons have been needed elsewhere. Also, I needed the media attention to go down. I do not do what I do to be “famous”, I do this work because it is what I was born to do. World wide media attention was a little too much for this inverted pleasure revolutionary, at least in this period of my life.
What has happened while I was away? We took the kids on vacation to our beloved Brushwood for part of their Sankofa festival. Celebrating the creative spirit. They made new wonderful friends, played in the woods and explored fairy gardens. Val, the kids and I arrived before most of our family there, so the intense setting up of camp – our home for the next two weeks – was mostly on us. He was amazing. Thanks to our glorious GP that we found through Planned Parenthood, the course of medications he’s been on has done wonders. I was hesitant to go on our yearly vacation because I feared that he wasn’t physically up to the task, but he was able to accomplish a wonderful set up for us with a small bit of help of our more able-bodied friends.
I’ve always stood with Planned Parenthood, in my twenties they were the only medical care I had financial access to. Now with the wonderful Doctor we both see there, amazing woman who found an anti-depressant that works for me and who finally took Val’s pain seriously. life is improving. He’s still on sticks or on bad days in a wheelchair, but we’re getting answers. He’s improving with his current treatment plan. Improving across the board, even with the tortuous stress we’ve been under with custody. When we don’t have this horrible weight on our shoulders anymore, I see him getting even better. Having a Doctor who cares is everything.
More recently, we’ve taken a shorter vacation to see the newlyweds – My Mom and her long time Partner just got married. We took the kids to their house to spend time with them, my Sister and her kids, as well as getting to spend time with my almost 93-year-old Grandmother. 7 kids, age 9 and under, was stressful – don’t get me wrong – but it was also wonderful. I cried a great deal over having most of my family together.
Now I prepare for Woodhull, which is another post entirely. Woodhull ends, three days later we have the custody trial and one outcome or another there will be some closure to these months of horrible uncertainty. I see the light at the end of the tunnel and I’m able to breathe again.